Monday, April 24, 2006

Confession of a Music Blogger

Casey Dorrell

I feel bloated.

This is traditionally how I feel on Sundays. That's the day I typically head out to my mother's house and stock up on (read: eat copious amounts of) free food. Groceries are so expensive, and when someone else is footing the tab, so cheap. It helps that she can cook, and that she often has unhealthy food sitting around that's sadly absent in my apartment. My other time to gorge is the day I buy groceries. I tend to leave off buying them for so long that I've had little to eat in the days leading up the new food's arrival. Unlike those clever WWII survivor's whose instinctual post-war attitude is to hoard all preservable food, mine is to consume as much as possible when it first arrives, afraid it might dematerialize.

I bought groceries this Saturday, so my two ocasions of over-eating combined quite unpleasantly. Very rarely have I felt this full. Yes, if you know me, you're probably laughing since I'm not a terribly big person and have been known to talk of my ritual daily slice of toast with peanut butter as though it were a meal (with enough peanut butter, it is!). Or maybe, you'd just like me to to divulge the secret as to how I keep my girlish figure with these questionable eating habits. But that's not what I'm here to discuss. No, I'm here to talk about the musical equivalent of over-eating, I'm here to make a confession.

I like Ashlee Simpson.

I don't often over-eat, it just happens sometimes. When it does, I'm aware of what's going on, but can't help it; my inner-fat man takes control. Afterward, aflood with guilt and remorse, I do a few token sit-ups and lament my bloated state. Ashlee Simpson is something I'd hear at work, where a co-worker and close friend was an unabashed fan. Oh, I would cruelly mock her, deriding her horrific taste, but secretly I hummed along to "La La" in my head, enjoying the music and loathing myself for that enjoyment. After work, a long shower, tears, obscure Japan Noise-rock, and a promise of never again hearing Ashlee followed. Yet, a few days later I'd be back, humming along.

There's something about her faux-rawk, faux-punk, faux-hard chick production that I respond to. Her voice sounds like Courtney Love if she'd never met Kurt Cobain, and had hollywood parents. Also, both Courtney and Ashlee are both in touch with their inner-male, fascinated with their own female anatomy. The former likes showing everyone her chest, while the latter thinks her mammary glands are stimulating conversation fodder. I know, appeals to Courtney Love similarities are hardly helping my case. I'm making a confession here, though, not trying to defend myself. I'm leading a deviant lifestyle, and the first step to working through this is admitting to it.

That's it. That's my confession. "I am me and I won't change for anyone." I like Ashlee Simpson. Not only do I dig her music, I think she's kind of hot too. I know that's what the marketing is telling me to feel, but it works nonetheless. And, yes, I'm quite aware her music doesn't meet any objective standard of "good," nor should it meet any subjective standard of the same. And, yes, I'm aware she isn't terribly attractive. Yet, I'm stuck. I don't own any of her CDs, nor do I have a single downloaded mp3, but should I accidentally hear her music, it'll be a pleasant surprise, not an unwanted nuissance as it ought to be. I beg of you, dear reader, your forgiveness, your support, and your guidance through these, my troubled times. And I hope you find it in your heart to, some day, respect me again.

Here's my user page, and here's Mocking Music's official group. Please, join the group and keep an eye on me. Don't let me listen to Ashlee Simpson.

I'm counting on you.

Weirdojace - A. Simpson (Pieces of Me)
Courtney Love - Codeine (Buffy Sainte-Marie)
Courtney Love - House of the Rising Sun
Hole - Where Did You Sleep Last Night? (Leadbelly)

Hole - Live Through This

Comments on "Confession of a Music Blogger"


Anonymous gregor said ... (25/4/06 12:26 am) : 

i wont judge but will say i would take her over her sister any night.


Anonymous Ama said ... (25/4/06 1:07 am) : 

I don't understand why people can't just let themselves like stuff.


Anonymous wendy said ... (25/4/06 10:34 am) : 

That is one of the funniest music blog posts I have ever read!

Hey, we all have our guilty musical pleasures...I quite enjoy Hanson.


Blogger marathonpacks said ... (25/4/06 2:58 pm) : 

there's nothing to feel "guilty" about. if a piece of music "moves" you in whatever way, embrace it without worrying about consequence.


Blogger Casey Dorrell said ... (25/4/06 3:26 pm) : 

AGh, I'm trying to respond to two of these comments without being an ass. All I can say is "satirical".

This was obviously, I thought, done tongue-in-cheek. I'm not actually worried.


Anonymous michele said ... (25/4/06 6:11 pm) : 

You like ashley simpson? That explains a


Anonymous wendy said ... (25/4/06 6:18 pm) : 


Actually, I think it would be really funny if it were true...I have plenty of guilty pleasures as far as music is concerned.

...and I do really love those cute little Hanson boys. They're dreamy.


Blogger Casey Dorrell said ... (25/4/06 9:43 pm) : 

No no, Wendy, you were on the ball. I was being truthful (to a degree), just satirical. I mean, I'm not worried about my shameful like of Ashlee.

And yes, I like those Hanson girls too. The tall one is a hottie!


Blogger Geoff Trainor said ... (25/4/06 11:09 pm) : 

This article describes my own relationship with Ashlee's music.


Anonymous wendy said ... (26/4/06 11:53 am) : 

I got the satire part ;-)


Anonymous moe said ... (26/4/06 1:30 pm) : 

i... i don't know what to say... i'm ... appalled!


Blogger Casey Dorrell said ... (26/4/06 1:39 pm) : 

It's all Tosh's fault, moe.


Anonymous Bronwyn said ... (26/4/06 11:17 pm) : 

No, this is not okay. Not okay at all.

You are not absolved.

I seem to recall making fun of an Ashlee Simpson CD with you at your place of work. I suggested getting it for Matthew, enlisting its cover description as "provocative" as an argument for said purchase.

"Ha ha," you said. "Ho ha ha."

Ha ha indeed.

This memory now takes on a sinister complexion.

I feel deceived. Cheap.


Blogger Casey Dorrell said ... (26/4/06 11:41 pm) : 

That may be the best comment we've ever gotten here. Mind you, that's cheap sentiment too.


Blogger Casey Dorrell said ... (26/4/06 11:46 pm) : 

I've been thinking about this, and I can tell you why I ought to be absolved.

You see, if someone's kinda dumb, it's fun to mock them for that stupidity. But if someone's really dumb, certifiably (does one get a certificate for mental incompetence? - insert profession joke here-) so, we don't make fun of them.

Making fun of the intellectually challenged is just in poor taste.

Clearly, my taste, in this case, is so atrocious, I should be pitied and consoled, but not condemned or derided. In fact, I think I ought to treated to gifts. If you click on the "contact us" area, you'll find where you can send said gifts. I don't trust Matthew.

I await the goods.


Anonymous bronwyn said ... (27/4/06 12:41 pm) : 

You've shown some ingenuity here, no question.

However I am unconvinced. Expect no gifts but the gift of firm guidance toward less embarrassing guilty pleasures. Embarrassing for everyone, I mean, not just you.

But mostly you.

And I don't trust Matthew either. He eats ice cream with crackers. How can that be trusted?


Anonymous moe said ... (27/4/06 10:18 pm) : 

i'm on bronwyn's side here.
let the condemnation(ing?) begin.


Blogger Casey Dorrell said ... (29/4/06 11:42 pm) : 

But wait!

Everyone look over there: That guy's eating crackers with ice cream!



Worse than enjoying Ashlee Simpson!



Anonymous Anonymous said ... (2/5/06 2:37 am) : 

HA! I knew that I would turn you! My music taste is not quite as detestful as you first thought.


Blogger Casey Dorrell said ... (2/5/06 2:54 am) : 

hey tosh :)


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (2/5/06 3:11 am) : 

did you get my emails


Anonymous Sanjay said ... (23/2/08 4:30 am) : 

Hay guy he is a best actor and this is my first comment good luck.


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